Setting Boundaries at Work: How to Keep Your Personal Life Personal

Dolly Parton once said, "Don't get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."

To say that the line between our work and personal lives is blurred barely scratches the surface. These two areas of our lives overlap so frequently that even we fail to distinguish them sometimes.

Right. I get it. We all just want to be recognized for our hard work, to be valued for what we can offer to the team.

However, are you really willing to risk your well-being for the possibility of recognition? Where do we draw the line between being a go-getter and a human doormat? Should you be available 24/7?

We're at the dawn of the self-care era. It's not a sin to protect your personal space and separate your private life from your work life.

Take the wheel. Establish work boundaries. It's going to be uncomfortable, to tell you the truth. So, let's take it step by step. Here's how to navigate yourself in the workplace to keep your personal life personal.

What Are Workplace Boundaries, Anyway?

Merriam-Webster defines "boundary" as "something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent." When applied in the workplace, a "boundary" is the line where your work ends and your private life begins.

Clocking in and out on the dot? That's one example of a boundary. But it's so much more than that. There are countless elements in the workplace where being an employee shouldn't overlap with established personal limits.

What I mean is that boundaries do not just apply to measurable things like your working hours. Mental and emotional boundaries are also very important. But, what are they?

Physical Boundaries

Physical boundaries: the simplest way to separate your work from your established personal limits. Imagine a bubble around you. You own this bubble.

No one is allowed to enter this space without your permission. You have the right to tell your coworkers that you prefer to maintain a comfortable distance when interacting with them.

Going on a solo lunch break, shaking hands instead of hugging, and keeping your office or cubicle closed during breaks are just some of the things you can do to protect your personal space.

Mental Boundaries

So, what about boundaries that you do not see? One of the hallmarks of the 21st century is the collective shifting of focus towards mental health.

We haven't perfected that yet, but we've come so far in the past decades, which brings us to mental boundaries. These are the boundaries beyond physical space.

Mental boundaries are the limits you set to protect your mental health. Efficient meetings, the absence of gossiping, and respecting your time are some indicators that mental boundaries at work are valued.

Emotional Boundaries

Navigating yourself efficiently in the workplace includes making sure your emotions are valued and processed.

This means you are not under pressure to feel what others think you're supposed to feel. Separating your emotions from a colleague's may be expressed through proper communication.

Letting your boss know your preferred feedback style, avoiding interactions with a coworker when he/she is in a bad mood, and even appropriate task delegation may contribute to the establishment of your emotional boundaries.

Why Do You Need Boundaries At Work?

Setting boundaries at work is one of the most common and effective methods to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Healthy boundaries at work manifest themselves in several ways, such as:

Productivity Boost

When you are deeply focused on the task at hand, you accomplish it faster and more efficiently. Your established boundaries guarantee that you become more productive at work because of the reduced distractions.

Pro-Tip: You can further boost your productivity by integrating smartphone apps that help you maximize your time.

Maintain a Reasonable Workload

An unreasonable workload is one of the biggest contributors to heightened stress levels. In several cases, overwhelming stress leads to burnout.

When you set boundaries, your colleagues and bosses are aware of your established limits. This lets them know that you will only accept a reasonable amount of work at a given time.

Manage Stress

Office drama, am I right? So many professionals don't seem to realize how significant the effects of workplace issues are to a person's stress levels.

By establishing personal boundaries at work, you avoid unnecessary tension from your colleagues, allowing you to feel lighter and more relaxed every time you go to work.

Encourage Colleagues

The best part about setting healthy boundaries in the workplace and taking care of your overall well-being is that it doesn't stop with you.

By doing so, you encourage your colleagues and bosses to promote a healthier work culture, which can significantly improve job satisfaction.

Your Next Task: Establish Boundaries

The challenging part is always in the act, not the idea. Thinking that you will set boundaries is so much easier than actually doing it.

You have to be prepared for the discomfort and the possibility of confrontations when you start addressing the poor boundaries in your workplace.

But in the end, it'll all be worth it, because it's how you can preserve your well-being! Blurred work-life boundaries, after all, lead to enhanced emotional exhaustion.

Just make sure to do it directly and respectfully, if you need some pointers on the delivery, don't worry about it, we have a whole article about it here.

So, if you're ready, here are some steps to establish boundaries and keep your private life private:

Schedule Your Sanity!

"On the stroke of twelve, the spell will be broken, and everything will be as it was before." Hey, even Cinderella had a schedule!

Face the Magic Mirror on the wall and ask yourself, "What are my professional goals?" Next, set up a meeting with your supervisor to discuss your availability to meet these goals.

Knowing your professional goals will help you practice self-accountability, which also allows you to stick to your schedule and be firm with your boundaries.

Your availability should entail when they can expect a response from you (via SMS, call, messaging app, or email). Any other time outside of this is for your other priorities.

Determine Your Priorities

Regardless of how meaningful your work is in your life, there are some lines it shouldn't cross. One of those is your priorities.

For example, if you're a parent or you work from home with a baby, your child will come first. Practicing an effective communication style to let your superiors know about your priorities is essential.

Telling them that you're unavailable outside of your work hours to spend time with your child will help establish your work boundaries.

Know Your Workload

Here's a "fun" little exercise for you. Examine your company ID and look for your job designation. Next, research what your position entails.

Then, list down all the other things you're doing that don't seem to fit the bill. Question: How much of your workload is not actually your workload?

Knowing your workload will help you be more assertive when you set boundaries because you know you're not supposed to be doing certain duties at all.

Delegate Tasks Like A Boss

Remember: You are part of a team. That means that whenever your workload starts to get heavier, there's nothing wrong with delegating some tasks to your colleagues. Just remember to ask your supervisor or boss before assigning the task to someone else. This practice helps maintain a manageable workload, which is an integral part of setting boundaries.

Besides, task delegation has been known to improve employee performance. So, this might even be beneficial to promoting a healthier workplace culture.

Reach Out

Your colleagues can't read your mind. Even if you express your discomfort through your actions, you can't always expect them to read between the lines.

Healthy boundaries are a privilege and a responsibility, which means, it is your obligation to communicate them to your coworkers.

If you feel like a colleague or certain policies are overstepping your boundaries at work, reach out. Talk to your colleague about it or let your superiors know.

Test The Waters (Learn To Say No!)

Do you want to know if your colleagues and supervisors value (or even encourage) setting boundaries at work? Test the waters. Start small. Say "no."

Someone invited you to a lunch out? Decline the invitation and see how they'd react. Your boss asks you to take on a project that's beyond your capacity and job description? Politely turn down the responsibility.

If your colleagues don't respect these boundaries, have a calm conversation with them to find a solution, which brings us to the next tip: effective communication.

Practice Different Communication Styles

Interpersonal boundaries are difficult to navigate. For starters, you don't know how your colleague or superior will react to the boundaries you set.

That's why it's essential to know how to deliver them properly. Brushing up your communication skills should help them understand how important your boundaries are.

Saying "That makes me feel uncomfortable" instead of "You're rude and inconsiderate!" shifts the focus to your emotions.

In other words, you're merely stating how you feel instead of criticizing the other person's character. This avoids tension and promotes healthier conversations.

Feel The Feels

Your emotions are like tiny gremlins - cute, but chaotic. Feeling the feels and acknowledging the positive and negative emotions you experience at work should help you avoid a workplace meltdown.

Labeling your feelings allows you to understand how to deal with them, preventing you from acting out your impulses based on strong emotions (think less Hulk smash, more Zen master).

This means you respect not just your own but also your coworkers' boundaries. In turn, they will also learn to respect the boundaries you set.

Be Honest About Your Needs And Struggles (But Be Kind, Too)

When work starts to feel like Darth Vader choking the life out of your free time, pull out your lightsaber -- honesty.

Do you need a hard stop at 5 PM? Do you need help managing a heavy workload? Would a focus break every two hours help you be more productive?

Remember that even the toughest bosses appreciate honesty. Just be sure to use "kind language" when discussing the details with your superiors.

It's absolutely fine to prioritize your needs and take control of your life, especially if it'll keep you satisfied at work.

Prepare For Disputes (Be Assertive!)

I'm not saying it's going to be an uphill battle, but if healthy boundaries are taboo in your workplace, setting them up won't be sunshine and rainbows.

Some colleagues will think you're simply avoiding work, or that you don't value the relationship you have with them. The key? Being assertive.

As long as your boundaries are reasonable, you can effectively convey them to your coworkers and bosses. Hold your ground. Explain your reasons and offer up solutions.

What Unhealthy Boundaries Look Like

So, your boundaries are hoisted and you're smooth-sailing in the workplace. But remember: all it took was an iceberg to sink the 883-foot Titanic, so look ahead. Here are some red flags to watch out for that could indicate unhealthy boundaries at work:

• Always On Call - Your phone constantly buzzing, notifying you of work-related updates, whenever and wherever you are (sometimes even on your rest days!).
• You're The Human Help Desk - You're the go-to person for everything. How's your back doing after carrying the entire team for too long?
• The Office Drama - Coworkers who think the office is a reality TV show, turning the workplace into a big ball of negativity.
• Poor Feedback Delivery (Or None At All) - Supervisors who don't supervise, leaving you clueless as to how to approach certain tasks.

Recognizing the signs of unhealthy boundaries we've discussed is the first step toward change. As you reflect on these red flags, think about the positive shifts that setting firm boundaries can bring to your work life! It's about transforming challenges into stepping stones for a balanced and fulfilling career.

Food For Thought

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• When was the last time someone at work overstepped your personal boundaries? How did you do about it?
• Have you been establishing personal and professional boundaries? How does it affect your mental health?
• How much personal information have you divulged to your company and colleagues? How has it affected your personal life?
• What habits have you formed to establish a healthier work-life balance?
• Have you communicated your needs to your colleagues and superiors? Why or why not?

FAQs

How do you set up healthy boundaries?

Knowing your limits and yourself, communicating properly, and being assertive (but kind) will avoid the negative consequences of setting boundaries at work. Not sure where to begin? Start by determining your professional goals. If you need a shortcut you can always try out our app and find someone who will help you find answers to these questions.

How do you politely set boundaries at work?

The magic lies in the words you use. When discussing your boundaries with colleagues, do not focus on what they're doing wrong. Instead, focus on what you believe is right. "I think relaying non-emergency info during work hours works best" is so much better than "Don't message me outside of work hours." It's a matter of knowing how to deliver feedback.

What is an example of a professional boundary?

A professional boundary could be something as simple as clocking in at 9 AM and clocking out at 5 PM. Of course, these aren't hard-and-fast rules. When the unexpected strikes, offering to help your colleagues after 5 PM also promotes healthy relationships (which could lead to them respecting your boundaries in the long run).

Why is setting boundaries important in the workplace?

Boundaries are your first layers of protection against negativities in the workplace. They avoid burnout, cynicism, and stress, keeping you passionate about the job. Boundaries at work also ensure that all your energy is focused on being productive.

How do you set boundaries at work without getting fired?

Just because you set boundaries at work doesn't mean you can't be a team player. As long as your approach is solution-focused, boundaries won't get you fired. Instead of accepting every responsibility that comes your way, tell your superiors you're happy to deprioritize certain tasks to focus on urgent matters.

How can setting boundaries improve your life?

Setting boundaries at work or any other aspect of your life is how you respect yourself. Aside from improving your focus all day, boundaries also translate to better sleep quality (because of reduced stress), more time with friends and family, a chance to pursue your hobbies, and even a healthy work environment.

Conclusion

Boundaries aren't walls. They're not meant to isolate you from your colleagues. Rather, they preserve your well-being so you can be the best version of yourself in and out of the office.

You're not being selfish of your time and energy; you're simply being respectful of them. After all, you can't just drop your entire life at the doorstep of your workplace, especially if you want to stay there for a long time.

Take control. Your needs, thoughts, and opinions are just as valuable as anyone else's. Keep work at work because that's how you keep you, you.

The first steps can be difficult, so if you need extra support you find it with the help of your very own personal accountability coach, we will help you transition from a hamster-on-a-work-wheel to a lion-in-the-workplace!